If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
