y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
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We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize