things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
