craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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