Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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