Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
