1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just threw up on my dentist
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
