Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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