I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yo dont text me then not text me
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
