I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
