I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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