I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
where are my eyebrows?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
