That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
