I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
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Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
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Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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