Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
