God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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