he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize