Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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