Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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