I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
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I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
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If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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