My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
