My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
