Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
