Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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