There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Can you bring me the toilet please
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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