there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
soo... how was my night?
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