Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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