I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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