I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
