Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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