Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
