; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
My brain says no but my pants say off.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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