this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
