I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
