I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
