Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
