he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
