I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm at about main and main street
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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