We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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