he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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