I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
