her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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