sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm both gender and math confused
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
