Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
