the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
