So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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