Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize