I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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