Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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