he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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