Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Enjoy the penises
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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