Dual....:-)
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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