I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
