Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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