I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
