We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
