2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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