Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
