i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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