how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
