i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
