If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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