i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
