it was like his penis was on wheels.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
