maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
