Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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