The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
