...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
