is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
